Only Jesus: Slaves and Masters (Colossians 3:22-4:1)

Isaac Dagneau | Colossians 3:22-4:1 | Only Jesus: A Study in Colossians

Please turn with me in your Bibles to Colossians 3. If you don’t have a Bible, please take one from the back table—and talk to me after if you don’t have a Bible and would like one. We can provide you with one. We’ll be studying Colossians 3:22-4:1. We’re continuing our series through the letter of Colossians that we’ve called “Only Jesus.” The emphasis for the past month or so, as we’ve looked specifically at Colossians 3, is that, having been united with Christ, we must live like Christ. So, Christ died; you died—your old self enslaved by sin, crucified, gone. Christ rose; you rose—to a new life empowered by the Spirit of Christ. Christ never sinned; you kill sin, every day. Christ loved boldly; you love boldly. Christ teaches and corrects us; we teach and correct one another. Christ worships God in thankfulness; we worship God in thankfulness—and so on. And all of this is in only Jesus. Not ourselves alone.

The main point of application of today’s text for us is this: We, as the church, are to work for the Lord in the fear of the Lord. We, as the church, are to work for the Lord, in the fear of the Lord. Here’s what we’ll do: we’ll first read the text and it’s sister text in Ephesians 6:5-9 and pray, then secondly, I’ll say a few words on 1st Century Roman slavery, then thirdly, we’ll walk through the Colossians text to understand what Paul is saying, and then finally we’ll attempt to apply the principles to our lives.

So, Colossians 3:22-4:1 (read). I’ll now read Ephesians 6:5-9 (read). Let’s pray: Father in heaven, we are gathered together this morning to hear from you. If this is not our desire, then make it our desire. Pour out your Spirit on our hearts and minds as we dig into your Word. Our primary goal here is not to “better ourselves,” but to better see your Son Jesus Christ—because in seeing Jesus we’re seeing God himself. Grace us this morning with a heavenly glimpse. And may the inward transformation from seeing your Son Jesus this morning, work its way from inside to outside. Thank you for this time, this space, and this country to allow us to do this so publicly and comfortably. Help us remain attentive as we now turn to your Word and truth. In the name of Christ, amen.

There are truths in this text that are for everyone at every time. The work of Bible students (which we all are, or ought to be) is to extract those eternal truths from a temporal context. We’re reading a historical document from two thousands years ago from the other side of the world. And if clothing trends can drastically change in a matter of decades, then that means social and economic structures can definitely change over centuries. That being said, it only makes sense that we briefly talk about slavery in the first century. I hope to provide us with just enough information to help us with our text, because my first priority is to help us know and apply God’s Word—not to teach history. But in order to know and apply God’s Word, we need to know a bit of history.

So, bondservants, slaves, servants—maybe you have a different translation of this word that Paul begins v. 22 with. Two questions we need to ask and try and answer: Firstly, what was slavery like in the Roman Empire in the 1st century? and secondly, why didn’t Jesus or the apostles bring it to an end?

Let’s look at that first question: what was slavery like the Roman Empire in the 1st century? The first thing to note is that 1st Century slavery in the Roman Empire wasn’t identical to the African slave-trade in the 1700s—which we often think of when we think about slavery. We could say that brutal racial discrimination and abuse marked that sad time in the world and in Christianity (with the effects long lasting), but we can’t say the same regarding 1st century slavery, which was not essentially racial and which didn’t all include abuse. Slavery was deeply embedded in the social and economic structures in the Roman Empire—in fact, much of the world’s cultures practiced forms of slavery up until the modern time—and still do in various forms. That doesn’t mean it’s right, but we need to look at the context of our passage in light of the fact that slavery was very normal. Historians say that nearly one third of the Roman population were slaves. It was part of life, and people may have not even considered life without it.

Secondly, slaves weren’t always forced into slavery. We’d be surprised to know that some slaves were voluntary slaves—meaning, they needed money, and the Roman government didn’t have bankruptcy laws or welfare, so what did they do? They gave themselves or their family to a master. They then could survive and even earn a wage. Other times slaves were prisoners of war, or prisoners in general. Contrast this with the African slave-trade which consisted of probably 100% kidnapping, which Paul condemns in 1 Timothy 1:10.

Thirdly, although there were certainly slaves who suffered brutal and inhumane actions from their masters, there were also good masters and very successful slaves. One could, generally speaking, live a “good” life as a slave and even make a name for him or herself. One scholar said that some slaves were the equivalent to those today with PhDs. Some slaves were teachers and doctors. In many ways, if you did well as a slave (which obviously included a good master in a good household), you could do far better financially and socially than some of your freeborn citizen friends. Another scholar mentioned that it wasn’t surprising to witness slaves only being slaves for about ten years—when they could then purchase their freedom, or their service was up.

So, 1st Century slavery in the Roman Empire (which, much more could obviously be said), wasn’t exactly like the slavery we often think of when we think about slavery. It was barely racial (if at all racial). It could be economically beneficial for both parties, depending on the master, household, and slave. And it could lead to a not-bad life. Now, all that being said, the philosophical foundation of slavery is still and always will be false—the idea that some people are and can be property belonging to another—a mere object or tool for another’s comfort. Slaves today are and slaves back then were considered property, and therefore, inferior to free people. The dark centre of slavery is the belief in a hierarchy of being—the belief that one person is greater in being than another, simply because one is a slave.

All that being said, 1st Century slavery in the Roman Empire, though sinful and philosophically flawed at its core, didn’t necessarily mean that 100% of it was as harsh as we might gather it to be. But that’s not minimizing the abuse that was suffered. The ideology of slavery, that “someone” is actually “a thing,” can so easily lead to cruel and unthinkable actions. It depended on the master. Some people take care of their things, some people don’t. If some people find their things insufficient, they fix them so they will. Others, throw them away. But anyways, slavery was a part of society—ingrained in their thinking. Slaves even had slaves! And slaves who finally got their freedom, went and got slaves—even after what they’ve been through. Hopefully that gives us just one snapshot of slavery in the Roman Empire in the 1st Century.

Let’s move on to the second question: why didn’t Jesus or the apostles bring slavery to an end? That’s a big question, and I’m not going to pretend that I have the answer to quiet all minds. But, perhaps we’re asking the question wrong. That question assumes that they didn’t bring it to an end—or that they maybe didn’t care if it came to an end. If we believe that God is good and that his Word is good, then we should already know that it’s on his heart and mind to end all sin. This means that the core idea of slavery—that someone is inferior to another in being and therefore considered property—was and is something that God will bring to justice. God hates sin—therefore, God hates the devaluing of his creation to objects. Therefore, we should change the question to: how ‘did’ Jesus and the apostles bring slavery to an end? Well, before we think that question is flawed, because the institution of slavery existed for centuries after, perhaps this simple analogy will help. How do I enjoy an organic apple when I’m living far away from any store? I must obtain a specific seed—an apple seed—dig up some dirt, plant the seed, water and nurture it as the seed grows into a little sapling, continue to water it, prune it. It takes a while. And then finally, I’ll eat an organic apple. Perhaps, then, we can ask the question this way: how ‘did’ Jesus and the apostles ‘plant the seeds’ that would bring slavery to an end? Here are two ways:

Firstly, by sticking to the mission. One scholar explains this well. He writes of the mission of Jesus: “[Jesus] did not come to overturn the Roman economic system, which included slavery. He came to free men and women from their sins. And here’s my point: what his message does is transform people so they begin to love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love their neighbour as themselves. Naturally, that has an impact on the idea of slavery.” He goes on to say, “The overthrowing of slavery, then, is through the transformation of men and women by the gospel rather than through merely changing an economic system. We’ve all seen what can happen when you merely overthrow an economic system and impose a new order…In the final analysis, if you want lasting change, you’ve got to transform the hearts of human beings. And that was Jesus’ mission.”

Jesus and the apostles had one mission: to preach the gospel so that the Spirit would transform the hearts of sinners. And the sinners-now-saints with new hearts would suddenly, and slowly, see and encourage change in their lives. A transformed heart is proven by transformed hands. Jesus nor Paul nor Peter wrote appeals to the Roman government to reform culture and society, though it was full of sin. Though social justice might improve temporal issues in the culture, they’ll never improve eternal issues in the heart. Jesus and the apostles remained on mission, because it is always re-formed hearts that will matter more than re-formed societies. Therefore, they never said, “Let’s end slavery in the world!” but rather, “Let’s end slavery in the heart! Because we know that freedom from sin will always lead to good fruit—no matter how long it takes.” They stuck to the mission.

Secondly, Jesus and the apostles broke down the sinful discrimination that was present in culture by equalizing everyone in terms of the cross. It sounds crazy, but Jesus was making a statement when he joyfully received children and conversed with women. Jesus even commissions to make disciples in all nations, meaning that racial barriers would be crossed—and not only crossed, but the gospel would be applied to all people, not just Jews. Jesus was intentionally blind to cultural and societal discrimination.

In terms of Paul’s writing in the life of the early church, perhaps two of the most powerful verses are Galatians 3:28 and Colossians 3:11 (and there are other verses that hint at the “moving away from” slavery). Paul writes in Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Colossians 3:11, “Here (in the church) there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.” Basically, he’s radically saying that everyone in Christ—through repentance and belief—are equal. They don’t lose their identity as, say, a Jew, or a woman, or a free person, but the cultural lines are erased in terms of inhumane distinctions. How? Because of the truth of the well known phrase, “The ground is equal at the foot of the cross.” Doesn’t matter if you’re a slave, free, man, woman, Jew, Greek, murderer, thief, princess, whatever! When you repent of your sin and believe in the gospel, you’re spiritually equal with one another—even though your identity and current situations on earth will have an impact on your life.

So, Jesus and the apostles planted the seeds that eventually led to the abolition of the institution of slavery by sticking to their mission—focusing on a changed inside rather than a changed outside—and by injecting the antidote into the centre of the slavery ideology—that antidote being, you are all one in Christ.

I hope, then, that that gives us a glimpse of 1st century slavery in the Roman Empire, and how Jesus and the apostles provided the foundation to its end.

Now, let’s start engaging with the text. V. 22 (read). Paul commands the slaves to do one thing, and then gives them three ways in which they are to do that one thing. Slaves are to obey their earthly masters in everything—similar to v. 20 in regard to children. By nature of the institution, slaves were to perform the tasks given them by their masters without question. And Paul doesn’t challenge that, but commends it.

And they are to obey their earthly masters in everything by, firstly, not being manipulative or deceptive. They aren’t to work hard when their master is looking, and then slack off when they walk away. They aren’t to give the appearance of a good “work ethic” in the face of their master, just for the sake of pleasing them. Rather, secondly, they are to obey with sincerity of heart. That word sincerity has the meaning of singularity—there’s a single purpose of the heart. When they obey their earthly masters, they’re obeying with an undivided heart-focus. Perhaps some of the Christian slaves hearing this for the first time are asking themselves, “But why?!” This brings us to the third way by which they are to honestly obey their earthly masters: in the fear the Lord. Their honest work in their obedience of their earthly masters is to be done with a recognition, awe, and reverence of the Lord. This was incredible for the slaves to hear. Paul is directly connecting their culturally “low” and “despised” service, to the “high” and “exalted” Lord. But notice as well that this wouldn’t just bring a sense of light happiness, but also a heavy sense of responsibility: work honestly in the recognition of the Almighty Judge, Jesus Christ, who sees and knows all.

Paul then further develops what it is to “work honestly in the fear of the Lord” in vs. 23-25 (read). The principle-truth in all of what Paul just said is this: slave, ultimately, you’re working for your heavenly Lord—not for your earthly master. In their submission and obedience to their earthly master, they are submitting and obeying their heavenly master—Christ. Paul writes this plainly at the end of v. 24, “You are serving the Lord Christ.” “Serving” in the Greek is in an imperative sense, so it has a strong verbal action: serve the Lord Christ! But let’s go through this section slowly. Paul first commands the slaves to “work heartily,” reemphasizing that “undivided heart-focus” of their work. But now, unlike before, he adds, “as for the Lord and not for men.” In other words, work honestly and hard as if only for Christ! That’s radical! And as soon as someone hearing this might think, “Ah but this is merely a metaphor and not real,” Paul adds, “knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” No metaphor. No analogy. Slaves are to do honest work in obedience to their earthly masters, because in serving their earthly masters they’re serving their heavenly Lord who has given them an eternal inheritance beyond understanding that is waiting for them in heaven as their reward. Their faithfulness in genuinely obeying their earthly masters in the fear of the Lord is evidence of their faith in the Lord, and their faith in the Lord obtains for them an incomparable future hope and inheritance. Paul connects their earthly work to their heavenly blessing.

But he adds one more thing (read Colossians 3:25). The Lord will impartially—with complete equality—judge the wrong done from wrongdoers. This includes not only the unjust and unfair treatment of the master, but the people-pleasey, insincere, deceptive, and lazy work of the slave. God will judge the wrong in this world—and he won’t judge the 1% stronger than the 99%! He’s fair and equal.

Finally, he writes to the earthly masters in Colossians 4:1 (read). Within the institution of slavery present at the time, people who had slaves who came to know Christ, were now commanded to treat their slaves justly and fairly. Certainly some masters would have already done this, but now Paul makes it a mandatory command. But Paul grounds this command in something else—in something that equalizes both earthly masters and earthly slaves (read 4:1b). Paul is saying, “Look, you’re no different than your slave. You have a Master (capital M) that you’re accountable to in heaven. And just as your Master treats you justly and fairly, you must treat your slaves justly and fairly.” We read earlier in Ephesians 6:9, “Masters…stop your threatening (which was obviously a temptation for them), knowing that he who is both their Master (capital M) and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” Equal.

As you can see, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, sets the standard for both slave and master high. In some respect, he’s saying, “If Christ were in your situation, this is how he would act. As a slave, he would be honest, truthful, and doing all his work for God because he knows God is watching (and this is exactly what he did for us in the gospel). And as a master, he would be just and fair in his treatment, never acting arrogantly as the king (which is true of him today).

Now, having looked at this text, how can we apply it to our lives? Well, at least in western civilization, the social institution of slavery has ceased. There is undoubtedly still slavery in this world, but for the most part, it’s internationally deemed as unhealthy, and therefore the slavery that exists in many first and second world countries are more secret and covered up. So, how can we apply this text to us today—in a society that doesn’t publicly utilize slavery? Generally, I would say, this text applies to everyone who experiences “servant-like” work and “leader-like” work. And for most of us, we at some time or another experience these. For example, what comes to mind the quickest is your formal work. Many of you in this room are employees, and some of you are employers. Now, employees are not slaves by any means, and employers are not “masters” of their employees—owning them as property. But, an employee is under an employer in position (nothing to do with being or dignity), and therefore applying what Paul has commanded to slaves would be good and right. And same goes for the employer. Christian employees ought to obey their supervisors in a non-manipulative, single-heart-focus kind of way—working honestly for them. And Christian employers or supervisors or bosses ought to treat their employees, regardless of religion, race, or gender, fairly and justly.

Now, if we left it there we’d be in trouble. That’s merely teaching and applying good and just work ethic. So, remember the main application point of the sermon I said at the begining: we, as the church, are to work for the Lord in the fear of the Lord. Just like the slaves in the Roman Empire, none of our “servant-like” work—whether at home, at the office, in school, etc.—is to be disconnected from the Lord. The servant-like work of a Christian on earth is ultimately for the pleasure and glory of our heavenly king. God doesn’t gain more glory in my weekly sermon prep, than a Christian plumber’s careful and good work under a sink. Both servant-like work and leader-like work that we experience on this earth, is ultimately for God. A puritan chair-maker in the 17 or 1800s was asked why they spent the same time and detail on the intricate beauty and design on the bottom of the chair where no one sees as they did on the intricate beauty and design on the top of the chair that everyone sees. “Because,” they replied, “God sees the bottom of the chair.” Your work—whether at home, abroad, in the bank, at a school, on a rooftop, in an office, whatever—is one of the greatest opportunities of your worship of God. Do not separate your work from your worship. Work for God in the fear of God. Why the fear of God? Because God is judge, and he sees all. Are you slacking? Are you lazy? Are you unjust? Are you manipulative? Are you lying? Are you stealing? Just because your work may not be “Christian,” does not mean you’re free from Christian ethics and practices. God doesn’t turn a blind eye to those in the trades, excusing them from godly speech, just because they’re not in a church. We, as the church, are to work for the Lord in the fear of the Lord—knowing that we’re all servants of the great Master (capital M), and are awaiting a reward for the faithfulness of our confession.

If you’re like me, this message is convicting. How easy it can be to regard work as simply “work,” and therefore not put in the spiritual effort. But may we encourage one another, and stir one another up as we fight to worship God in our work on earth. And our worship at work primarily looks like working honestly and hard—whether in a position of “servant” or “leader.” We, as the church, are to work for the Lord in the fear of the Lord. And here’s the scary reality: we already are working for the Lord, whether we know it or not.

Only Jesus: Children and Parents (Colossians 3:20-21)

Isaac Dagneau | Colossians 3:20-21 | Only Jesus: A Study in Colossians

Turn with me in your Bibles to Colossians 3. Colossians 3. We’ll be looking at Colossians 3:20-21 this morning.

If you weren’t here last week, we looked at Colossians 3:18-19 and its sister passage in Ephesians 5:18-33, which talked about marriage and the callings of both a Christian wife and a Christian husband. In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he spends from v. 18 in chapter 3, all the way to v. 1 in chapter 4, giving specific commands in regard to Christian household relationships in the 1st century—which today we’ll look at children and parents. So, let’s engage with these words from our God to us, and apply them to our lives. Let me read Colossians 3:20-21 (read v. 20-21). Let’s pray: Father, as we consider your words to children and parents and mothers and fathers this morning, may all of us gain a more Christ-centred image of family, so that whether or not we’re currently in a family, we may know how to encourage and lovingly correct our brothers and sisters in Christ who are in our own family unit and/or our church family. May what we learn and what we will soon apply be to your glory. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Like last week, a few points need to be said up front. Firstly, just because Paul is addressing children and parents here, doesn’t mean that this sermon isn’t for you if you’re not currently a dependant child or parent. The truth is, if we want to be effective as a church family, then we need to know God’s calling and commandments for one another. We all have a responsibility to help stir one another up and encourage each other in our God-given and God-empowered callings. So if you’re with us this morning and you’re neither a parent with children or a dependent child, then it’s important for you to know what God is calling your brothers and sisters in Christ to do who are parents and dependent children. And not only this, but principles in our study this morning will apply to all of us—not just children and parents.

Secondly, like any beautiful truth in Scripture, this calling on children to obey their parents can become distorted into something ugly and damaging—but not to the point of no return. The hope of the gospel is a million times more powerful than the greatest distortion of truth. The hope of the gospel is also a million times more comforting than any word from a counsellor, friend, or even mother. God loves to see sin and death defeated of their power, as well as his children comforted and satisfied in him. If you’re seeking gospel-hope this morning, don’t leave without talking to someone—especially if your suffering has to do with the abuse of the truth.

And thirdly, I can only say that I can try and imagine the pain that barrenness brings for married couples who desire children, and also the pain of those who desire marriage and children, and yet have not experienced them. This is a sensitive issue with many brothers and sisters in Christ. And I think it needs to be said that marriage and children are gifts from God among many others. God shows no partiality toward the children certain gifts are given to—he has no “favourites.” All of us, no matter our circumstances, are called to thank God for his spiritual and physical gifts in our lives, and to use them for his glory.

In my last job I interviewed one Christian author who is in his late forties and is unmarried. And he said that while his married friends may experience a depth of relationship he doesn’t know, he, on the other hand, experiences a breadth of relationships that his married friends will never know. This isn’t in any way trying to tell single people in this room to remain single or anything like that, I’m just giving an example of one Christian’s ability to see his circumstances as a gift from God that he’s going to use for God’s glory—and to enjoy it. At the same time, I don’t think it’s wrong to say that sometimes gifts should be sought! Jacob wrestled with God and said he won’t stop until he blesses him—so God blessed him. If you’re unsure on whether to seek or not seek for these gifts, pray, firstly, and then secondly, open up to a mature Christian and talk to them about it. It will be good for your souls.

Ultimately, we know—and an abundance of mysteries surround this—but we know that all things are worked together for God’s glory and his children’s good. That is the “why” of everything in the Christian’s life. What we often don’t get to know is the “how”, “how does such-and-such a circumstance work together for God’s glory and my good?” And that’s why we surround ourselves with brothers and sisters in Christ in the church to comfort us, encourage us, and strengthen us by pointing us to Jesus. We can trust Jesus with everything we face in this life.

Now, as I mentioned last week, the letter Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus has some similarities to the letter he wrote to the Colossian Christians. And once again, like the words on marriage, Paul elaborates more on the children and parents commands in Ephesians. So, flip back a few pages in your Bible with me to Ephesians 6:1-4. I’ll read this as well. This is where we’ll stay, because he pretty much says the exact same words as he writes in Colossians, but with more (read Ephesians 6:1-4).

Let’s start with the v. 1 (read v. 1). Notice how Paul elevates the dignity and responsibility of children by directly addressing them—that’s why we specifically had a mini-sermon for them this morning. Children are not excused from the family and church’s efforts to model Christlikeness—they have an important role to play in the family’s flourishing. When children—who we could define in this context as those who are living as dependant children in a household with a parent or parents or guardian—when they obey their parents, they are reflecting the obedience of Christ to the Father, which is glorifying God by promoting his character and actions. I love that Christianity isn’t all about lofty knowledge and “grand acts of service,” but can get as practical as obeying your parents. God receives glory when a Christian is martyred, and God receives glory when a child obeys their parents. Both that child and that martyr are exercising courageous, Christlike obedience in their acts.

Now, we read that their obedience is to their parents, it’s in the Lord, and it’s right. So, children are to obey their parents. It’s the job of the father and the mother to lead, instruct, and discipline their children. If it weren’t, then Paul wouldn’t have said “Obey your parents.” The second thing we can learn about this obedience is that it’s “in the Lord.” Ideally, this obedience is being engaged within the general understanding of Christ’s authority. Children should obey their parents not as an end in itself, but because of Christ’s authority to set up this order within the family for their good and his glory. And thirdly, this obedience is right. We read in the Colossians passage that “it pleases the Lord.” There is a natural rightness when children obey their parents—and many unbelievers would agree! Obviously it’s “not right” when a mother or father or guardian commands a child with sinful and selfish motives—that’s not what Paul is referring to here. He’s referring to that habit of obedience that Christian children ought to have when it comes to obeying their parents—and it’s that obedience that’s right.

And really, this habit of obedience is for all of us. It comes back to the reflection that it bears on Christ. Listen to Paul’s words to the Philippian church about Jesus in Philippians 2:6-9, “[T]hough [Jesus] was in the form of God, [he] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name…” An essential activity that caused Christ’s highest exaltation, was obedience. And this Christ-reflecting task of obedience is given to all of us but specifically here to children, in that they would rightly obey their parents in the Lord.

Paul then, in vs. 2-3, quotes Exodus 20:12 (read vs. 2-3). The command to obey your parents is now grounded in the fifth of the Ten Commandments—honour your father and mother. So, Paul is making a point that the obedience of dependant children to their parents is a direct application of the fifth commandment. Now, these commands are not synonymous. In fact (and I quote this from my cultural backgrounds study Bible), “Most ancient readers would have understood this [command, “Honour your father and mother”] at the very least as an admonition to care for one’s elderly parents, though other forms of honour would not be excluded.” All children, no matter their age, ought to honour their parents—who at the very least brought them into existence. For a dependant child, to obey their parents is one of the primary ways to honour them—in fact, it’s the “right” form of honouring parents in that stage of life. But when that child becomes an adult, other forms of honour replace strict obedience. Yes, Paul is talking to children here, but he’s grounding their specific command in a general command that we all ought to obey: honour and respect your father and mother.

Now, notice that Paul emphasizes the promise that’s attached to this command. He wants the children in Ephesus to understand that their obedience to God—in obeying their parents—is not without reward. Even though the promise of “that you may live long in the land,” is specifically talking about the physical promised land for Israel, there is still the general principle that it will go well with the child who honours their mother and father. Paul doesn’t spell out exactly what the promise will look like—probably because it’s customized according to God’s plan for the individual—but it’s a promise we all ought to trust and set our hope in.

Now, let’s move into v. 4 (read v. 4). As we mentioned before, the fact that children are called to obey their parents in v. 1, lends to the fact that both the mother and father have a responsibility to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” It’s not a one-sided calling. Yet, the “father” is specified, based on that headship he holds in his marriage. And Christian headship, like we talked about last week, is a position that provides many life-giving and life-flourishing functions under a sense of authority and leadership, which are all infused with a selfless, Christlike love. So while the father and mother raise their child or children in a God-honouring way, there also is a greater weight of responsibility on the father—thus the reason for why Paul writes “fathers” rather than “parents,” even though he knows that mothers are highly involved. One author talks of the Christian father’s “primary” responsibility, but not “sole” responsibility.

Consider these Scriptures showing the dual-work: Proverbs 1:8-9, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” Proverbs 6:20, “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” And this is a great one, Proverbs 30:17, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” I should have used that one in the children’s sermon!

And, as a further emphasis on the mother’s task here, consider Timothy. Paul writes to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:5, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mouther Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” And then skip over to 2 Timothy 3:14-15, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” There’s a very high likeliness that Timothy’s mother and grandmother opened to him the Scriptures and helped him become the “well spoken of” disciple in his region.

So all that being said, even though “fathers” are spoken of here, in reference to their headship in their marriage and that primary responsibility they hold, both father and mother have the task for instructing and disciplining their children.

Paul gives a negative, and then a positive—a “don’t do” and then a “do.” We’ll look first at the “don’t do.” “Fathers (and mothers—it applies to both because both teach, lead, correct, etc.), do not provoke your children to anger…” Our Colossians passage adds, “lest they become discouraged.” Through the Holy Spirit’s inspiration, Paul knows that provoking, agitating children so that they become angry and annoyed, would be a temptation for parents. When children, who have a special innate trust for their parents, experience their parents provoking them to anger, the only response is discouragement—which always leads to stunted or stifled growth. Think about it, the relationship between children and parents reflect the relationship between God the Father and the church—kind of like how marriage reflects the relationship between God the Son and the church. None of us could imagine our heavenly Father provoking us to anger. Surely he disciplines us, but never provokes—never stimulates us to an anger that leaves us discouraged.

Fathers, mothers, there is a sense in which you play a “God-like” role in your children’s lives. Genesis tells us that Adam was born in the image and likeness of God; and it also says that Seth, him and Eve’s third son, was born in the image and likeness of Adam. There is a reflection going on here. And for Christian parents, we ought to imitate our heavenly Father’s love and justice toward us, with out love and justice toward our children.

And before we move to the “do” part, we must understand that Paul’s referring here to the deliberate and intentional, sinful act of provoking, irritating, and agitating to anger and frustration. Children will be children, and will get angry, annoyed, frustrated, and discouraged. We can’t help that. What we can help, however, is to check our motives when we’re relating with them—and to be serious about “killing” the sinful intentions when they arise in us, even when they’re small. We can also help by asking our children for forgiveness when we fail—even when they’re young. And asking for forgiveness doesn’t sound like, “Billy, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, but you shouldn’t have blah blah blah!” Rather, asking for forgiveness sounds like, “Billy, will you forgive me for wrongly snapping at you and causing anger and frustration? I’m sorry.” When parents do this, they not only model Christ’s humility, but they model to their children genuine forgiveness—which will have an undoubted benefit for their life.

Let’s now look at the “do”: “…but [do] bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” So much could be said here, so we’ll keep it brief by looking at the big picture. The key to both disciplining and instructing are those last three words, “of the Lord.” This tells us that the discipline and instruction aren’t separated from Jesus—meaning, the discipline and instruction that parents ought to engage on their children are not modelled after the world or the latest “parenting book”, but modelled after God the Son. Christian parenting is radical in that it cares not about the parents’ hopes and dreams for their children, nor the child’s hopes and dreams for themselves, but what God has desired and willed. And what God has desired and willed is for both the parent and the child to love him and love others—the greatest commandment. This produces the greatest joy in the person, and the greatest glory for God.

Basically, the principle is that the parents intentionally discipline and instruct their children toward a greater love for God and others. So, let’s look at discipline. Firstly, discipline is good because God disciplines—and God can’t do anything not good. Hebrews 12:16, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Skip down to verses 10 and 11, “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” So, since discipline is not bad, it’s bad discipline that’s bad. And bad discipline is any intentional discipline that isn’t toward a greater love for God and others. It’s the kind of discipline that’s seen when a father or mother punishes their child for either not meeting their own standards for their child, or simply because they’re personally annoyed and erupt with a condemning remark. On the other hand, good discipline is thoughtful and controlled—always toward a greater love for God and others. For example, it’s seen when a parent witnesses an unloving or ungodly action or remark from their child, and then considers an appropriate punishment based on the situation and the child, and then seriously explains to the child the punishment and why it’s being given. God is calling parents to not abandon discipline. Just because the media and some “gossip circles” only talk about bad discipline, doesn’t mean good discipline should be removed.

Listen to just three radical Proverbs about this. 22:15, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” 13:24, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” And 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but (and listen to this) a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Good discipline is thoughtful and controlled, always with the intentional purpose toward a greater love for God and others, and ought to be engaged by parents to their children—just as our loving and gracious God disciplines us, those he loves.

And instruction. The greatest gift God the Father has given his children, who we all are, is his Word—and I mean “Word” in both senses: the Word of God in ink, and the Word of God in flesh—the Bible and Jesus. God the Father uses black and white words to instruct his children, as well as the arms, legs, mouth, and heart of his Son to instruct his children. Basically, God the Father instructs us by speaking truth and then demonstrating that truth. And if parents, as we have mentioned, reflect something of the relationship between God the Father and his children, then we must model this kind of instruction to our children. Raising up children in the instruction of the Lord means speaking the truth to them, and then demonstrating what that truth looks like in life—both toward a greater love for God and others.

So, practically speaking, instruction will look like speaking truth to your children. And if the only time they’re hearing us speak about the truth is after they’ve done something wrong, then we’re probably not doing it enough. Part of what it looks like for Christian parents to intentionally instruct their children toward a greater love of God and others is creating opportunities to speak the truth of God in fun, creative, and serious ways. This can be as simple as daily reading to them a children’s Bible, or singing Christian songs with them in the car. But the Christian parents’ instruction doesn’t end with speaking the truth, but must be completed by living the truth. We must not be like the Pharisees in our parenting. Jesus condemns them because they preach, yet to not practice the truth. Pharisaical parenting, by preaching the truth without practicing the truth, will only create cute little Pharisees—who do the exact same thing.

The rubber meets the road when Christian parents make it their absolute effort, empowered by the Spirit, to always complete their speaking of the truth with their doing of the truth. Take sharing for example. Every parent wants their child to learn how to share, and surely, sharing is a godly activity—one that is taught in Scripture. But for a father to instruct his child to share her toys, and then for her to never see him sharing his home with the neighbours or the less fortunate, there’s a disconnect in her mind. Again, Christian parents must make it their absolute effort, empowered by the Spirit, to always complete their speaking of the truth with their doing of the truth.

So that sums up this passage, which sums up our Colossians 3:20-21 passage. The Christian calling on children is to obey their parents as the way to obey the commandment to honour their mother and father. Not only will it go well with them as a blessing if they do this, but in obeying their parents they’re reflecting the character of God himself—therefore, it’s right and it’s pleasing to the Lord. The Christian calling on parents is to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, which is to be done with an intention toward helping their children love God and others more, and never with an evil intention of provoking and agitating their children to anger which leads to their discouragement. A special word is given to fathers in this parental calling, based on their primary responsibility because of their God-given headship, but this doesn’t mean the mother is excluded from responsibility as well. Father and mother are to raise their child or children in godliness with instruction and discipline.

Now, as we conclude, let me reemphasize the importance of identity here. Before we hit the “practical” stuff in Colossians and Ephesians, Paul establishes our identity as being united with Christ as a son or daughter of God. The callings we’ve looked at these past two weeks given to husbands, wives, fathers, parents, and children are the natural outflows of Spirit-led lives, which are slowly being worked out by once-sinners who are now-saints, who still struggle with sin. Ultimately, as a Christian, it’s our union with Christ that now leads our lives—pushing for change in every facet of our life, including the family. And everyone’s involved with the flourishing of a God-centred family—including those who aren’t married or those who don’t have kids. We as the church, the family of God, are called to encourage, correct, and comfort one another in all our callings.